For Happiness is My Job

I work for a newspaper, I write articles on a weekly basis, it depends on what is going on in my country and in the world. Yet, that is not my job, that is not what I am obsessed with on a daily basis. My job is to be happy, to feel happy to take time out and just enjoy life. Work is part of the whole process of living and I am not the kind of person obsessed with the career thing or inpatient to beat or compete with a coworker. I love my job because it is fun, because I feel good going to work, because I do what I love to do when I love to do it. It is based on creativity and continuous growth and the learning and unlearning processes going on besides to the financial freedom it offers.

However, I am not defined by what I do, my job is to be happy, to make a healthy lunch, to dress up for work, to pick the perfect BB cream for my skin, to post something inspirational on FB to have your cover photo as your goa,l to meet up with friends (we need people to charge our batteries), to read a good book, to take a walk, to write a good article, to study and indulge in a huge amount of papers to review, to watch tutorials and to try new ideas, to travel to be into new places, to meet deadlines, to commit to a new project, to go to the gym, to watch a beautiful movie, to fall in love, to have more friends, to chat, to eat pizza, to learn Italian, to watch Youtube, to sing out loud, to dance like a crazy, to smile, to have your heart beats quickly every time you see a mini-cooper, to promise yourself to be better the following day, to meditate, to clean your room, to make projects, to wear a new bag every day, to teach, to have new students, to attend workshops, to be trained online,  to drink plenty of water, to escape boring classes, to meet your teachers, to take a cub, to hold  a plane ticket..

 There are plenty of experiences that we live on a normal day, you don’t have to travel the world (well it will be great if you do) you don’t have to read a book, you don’t have to invent something, you have just to live .. for life is happiness.

My closet is full of clothes and I have nothing to wear (1)

 “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 It was the weekend and after a long day of work in the newspaper, I was finally home. My TV was open, my tablet in my hands and all my fantasies about a SPA  during the evening or just a feet massage while reading some magazines evaporated. I was too tired to do anything. I have just hanging the phone with a friend of mine when I had an absurd thought in mind, I have a lot of clothes but I always feel that I have nothing to wear.

 On my Facebook ,I wrote something that summarizes this idea: “I have faced a lot of challenges in my life, I witnessed many crossroads and for most of the times I managed to make a decision except for one thing .. it takes me hours to pick the outfit of the day, my wardrobe is full of clothes but I have nothing to wear!”.

Every single day I was helpless in front of my wardrobe. I am not a shopaholic (even if my fav movie is “The Devil Wears Prada” and I adore watching the movie ‘Shopaholic’), and I don’t really give much attention to brands if it is a Prada a Calvin Klein or a Channel (I extremely want to buy the black small channel bag but anyway) what it matters is that an item suits me and I feel good wearing it. However, when I thought about all of that, I figured out that this sentence reflects a lot of my daily habits and routines: starting from different levels of appreciation to misusing creativity and the abundance of clutter.

The meaningfulness of getting rid of clutter for happiness was one of the brilliant ideas that ‘The Happiness Project’ has shared. However, since a young age I was someone that loves to buy: clothes, food, accessories, decorating items and every time that I empty my closet and get rid of unusual stuff I feel better; then I learnt that clarity and newness is totally related to emptiness. I decided then to write a series of articles about that: how this expression a lot of women repeat can reflect a whole philosophy if we just learn to see what it reveals.

I have a lot of projects going on now, one is my friendship project (which I will discuss in a seperate article) consisting of reviewing all of relationships and starting new ones. I also work on my nagging tasks project (all the things that I need to do and kept off) My financial project,  however, consists of new strategy called SPEND SLOW : I decided to work with 2 specific techniques to keep it going (I will discuss it in a seperate article too). So my SPEND SLOW project requires that I minimize my spending and start saving. And here we go the whole challenge and dilemma: CLOTHES. Besides the fact that I like everything I see on stores especially expensive items, I shopped today from a second hand market. However, my clothing style is based on wearing different styles everyday. It really depends on my mood and also my thoughts; or looks that I want to try (childish look for today). So I opened my closet and started to create new styles (styling videos on YouTube helped a lot), because spending is under control.

The goal was to use one item for several looks and it worked like magic. This image of me using my mind to see more options than the closet has to offer, taught me the first lesson: There is always something more plus appreciate what you have and be creative. Our eyes are extremely important in this process of perception and what we have to do is to just pay attention. I remember when I was at college; unusual and ordinary things caught my eyes, those which usually do not catch anyone’s eyes. A tree, the sky the sun : normal things that we usually do not see, I used to see and appreciate them , however after a while when I got a job and my schedule became ‘fuller’ (busy girl) I did not recall that I have done that but a few times. This closet thing made me aware that I should use my heart to see and not my eyes, in order to be able to see other’s potential or the possibility to learn more or appreciate the moment more than before. Beauty is everywhere we need only to pay attention, that is the point.

Using my heart to see is my task for the next week, I will let 'him' guide me, inspire me and let me see the important and the magic beauty of an ordinary scene.

Thank you closet!

Give it a try!

"There is this guy who has always been poor, and one day he decides to pray to God that he could win the lotto. He prays and prays, but doesn't win. Every day, he prays to God that he could win the lotto, and it never happens.

One day, when he's very old and frustrated, he gets on his knees and says, "Look, God. This is the last time I'm going to pray. PLEASE let me win the lotto, or at least tell me why you aren't letting me win."

Suddenly, an angel appears before the man and says, "Look, sir, could you do God a favor and at least buy a lotto ticket?! "

And this is what I was doing for a while, buying Lotto Tickets, figuratively speaking. I made this commitment once when I noticed that opportunities were jumping on me and I did not make a good use of them. I started trying, asking and making sure that I give whatever it is a try. 

However, this time I have this big opportunity before me and I am afraid to apply because I am afraid I lose it. But isn't that stupid, I am going to lose if I don't apply, right?! yes I am! 

Therefore, I should apply and then see what happens, I will just do my best filling the application, if I got it that is fabulous, if I don't I will try again, there are always other opportunities and there are always next year's application. 

Heading to my internship organization today, and while I was in the bud, I was reading something about the Fun of Failure', Gretchen in her " Happiness project" made it really seem so FUN.  I have even thought about a movie that inspired me a lot " The School of Life": the movie has a very strong message, enjoy failure and disappointment because it is part of our lives and it is our life anyway we should enjoy it whatever happens! 

'Try trying' was my motto for a while, I was even teaching it to my students, especially those who thought they were not good enough, I kept saying challenge yourself so I think I should challenge myself too. 

The restrictions and limitations do only exist in our minds, we create them and we wonder from where they have come. 

All the negative thoughts are still in my mind, however I am going to do it anyway, especially that the note on my cookies when I was at a Vietnamese restaurant today said: " Being aware of your fears will improve your life"!

Almost 4 weeks in Seattle: What I truly loved and learnt...

                                  The perfect day for Space Needle

Did I get used to it? to all life here? to the buildings? to the organisation I am having my internship with? to the hotel where I lived for almost 4 weeks now? to the receptionist? to the weather? the streets? to Seattle? Maybe I am and maybe I am not. What I know about myself is that I am someone who adjusts in minutes. I do accept any situation and I can take the best out of it. However, my first days in Seattle were kind of challenge.

After spending a month in Berlin, it was not easy for me to adjust, the United States was not the way I expected and the American movies do definitely tell a different story. was I disappointed? Maybe! But I felt sad I don't know why, I was doing exactly what I wanted to do, however I felt disconnected. the place, the people, the weather did not matter, it was about me. I remember taking the Bus once and repeating few affirmations : I am having fun! everything is Great! and you know what.. it WORKED!

Therefore, after I started paying attention to the beauty about Seattle, I can definitely write about it. When I say Seattle, I automatically think about the Space Needle, the Pike Place, Capital Hill, the Pacific Place, and Shopping. Ross is my favorite place, I bought tones of dresses and I cannot ever get enough, however no more space in my luggage and no more money in my pocket. Yet, I love to spend time on the Union Lake, just enjoying the peaceful view that calming feeling that shakes my being when I sit there. I like to walk in Seattle and contemplate the nature. I like book shopping, there are lot of books that I still have to buy but I certainly cannot. However I bought a lot of great books, one of them was The Happiness project  and as I think that Aleph was the perfect book for my trip in Berlin, The happiness Project was a perfect pick for Seattle, it helped change my mood and feel better about the experience in general. I am reading now the chapter about work. In my way to work today, while I was taking the bus I was reading the book, and Gretchen said "no writer actually loves  the writing part". O.K. so that was not just about me Thank God, every writer does. I have always believed that my true calling is to become a writer I love to write but I hate the writing part. Thank God nothing wrong about me :)

                              This is me protesting on  May Day :)

 The people here are very friendly, they invite us for launch and dinner, would like to know more about us and one of the things that I really enjoyed the most was the invitation to have launch with a family in Braibridge Island, I took the ferry and I spent a great time with a lovely family.
When it comes to my internship, I work with an organisation that supports refugee women, the office is full of different women from different countries and religions however they manage to communicate smoothly, you won't ever notice the differences. Here I learnt from them a lot, and I won't ever forget Tigist, she is a sweetheart and she helped and did a lot to me, so thank you Tigist.
Well, being here for almost 4 weeks now, made me feel that I live here, it is not a touristic trip where you see the best of the country and you leave, I've actually 'lived' for a month here and I am left with few days to go before heading to D.C.

                                     
                                      Meet my husband in Seattle!

It was a wonderful experience and I would love to visit Seattle again. 

Berlin .. a trip of salvation 3

My first week in Berlin is over, it was full of magic moments, joy and unique experiences. I fell in love with people, restaurants, malls, streets, snow and someone. All the experiences will be unforgettable and this conclusion I’ve come to remains always true: I am life and I am that kind of person that practices the art of living, and I like that.

Lying down on my bad, I remembered myself saying who would ask for “Someone like you” (Adel’s song) I adored this song: the rhythm, the lyrics and Adel’s voice are amazing but I discussed once this idea with a close friend  of mine and I said I would never ask for someone like him whoever he is. I will look always for someone better than him. Today, I listened to that song and I was wondering I really want someone like you, maybe because I know I will never have you.

Well, the idea of feeling this way itself is enough, newness is always  related to travel and here I am in Berlin falling in love with someone I am not even allowed to think about. The beauty of this city pumped from his eyes. But Berlin seems like me shy to show her real beauty,  to make people know how special she is out of fear. Fear that she would be taken as a bragger, fear of being taken as a liar. Well, people won’t believe that all of this can exist in someone.

During the week, I tried Turkish and Indian food for the first time, liked both of them and the salvation thing worked. I put off all that burden I have been carrying, I stopped worrying and I laughed from the bottom of my heart, I cried, smiled and learnt a lot. 3 weeks to go and they will be amazing.

It has been snowing since last night, and our garden is white now, I loved the snow and I am truly in love with Berlin, I can spend a year here without getting back home.

I read a few pages today of the books that I brought, I was lying down on a very comfortable chair, watching the snow falling and drinking some water while I stop once in  a while to think or to dream. Most of my thoughts were about him and most of my dreams were about Berlin.

There are a lot of things to plan, to do and to worry about but I will let things follow according to their rhythm I will accept and I will love!

Here is the view from my window: BEAUTIFUL!

Berlin .. a trip of salvation 2 ( I met Arwa)

When I wrote my first post about Berlin yesterday I was about to sleep and I've just figured out all the horrible grammar and spelling mistakes I've made. I am a little sensitive to writing mistakenly. I don't want to make  language mistakes. That feeling is becoming stressful especially after starting to teach because it is a huge responsibility, this is why I am not going to correct them I would only accept them this time so please forgive me

Well, today is my second day in DW, it has been so interesting so far, however it was not stunning as I expected not that bright shiny or surprising, yet a lot of people are friendly, there is this anchor who is very sweet and modest. The whole thing seemed doable I really can do this, it is not that big deal. About that feeling I have been dealing with lately everyday in my way to job it is totally different now. Well maybe TV is my thing,  those laughs and fun chats preparing an episode is worth trying. MAYBE!

Today, I was smiling again, Berlin is very beautiful at night, the lights, the old buildings and the beautiful sky were magical. I think I am falling in love with the city and I am falling in love with myself again.. This salvation trip is working and my heart is beating again, I met nice and interesting people  who helped and assisted me but today I met Arwa.. I met Arwa in Berlin!

Berlin.. a trip of Salvation 1

When I was informed about my trip to Berlin, I was overwhelmed, I did not think about how valuable the training is or how much the trip would be, I was thinking about the hours I need to teach and the schedule that I need to follow in order to be ready by March the second. And I was ready everything I prepared was useful, however that being overwhelmed and getting more stressed out by doing unstoppable stuff during 2 weeks in order to be able to travel, were alarming signs: this is not who I am! I don't think this way! I am positive! and I find always a way to enjoy my time! so what is happening to me?

Well, yeah, I feel upset, lazy and that my life and my job have no meaning, I have been trying to watch movies, read books, drink coffees and hang out with friends, nothing of that did work. And then here I am in Berlin, a beautiful city but I don't feel present I feel that my soul is absent, this is way I chose to fight this is not a simple work trip .. this is a fight a trip for salvation a trip that would get me back a trip that would save me and free my soul from stress, calculation and conditional life that I have gave up too few months ago. Things have to change, they are changing very slowly and I still feel that I brought up my prison with me but I know that every day would be a good opportunity to destroy a piece of that wall of stress and useless stuff that I have been surrounding myself with like they destroyed the Berlin wall!

By the 30 of March, my wall should be destroyed and my soul should be freed and the beauty of this city should be seen. That is a challenge, a challenge to keep!