Did that happen? Did we win? Ben Ali has gone and he will never come back? Are we dreaming? Were there snipers on roofs and gangsters on streets here in our neighborhood? It happened and we were not dreaming. Everything changed so fast so crazily to the point I am surprised that we are here alive enough, optimistic enough to start to build. The critical characteristic of all what happened, of all what we lived here in Tunisia, seemed simply imaginary. I am not talking about a revolution. Revolutions happened and will continue to happen; I am talking about people, about Tunisians. People were aware enough, cultivated enough and hopeful enough to protect each other, to clean and to come back to work as soon as possible, people who finally breathed and really freedom smells good. It was miraculous; it was beautiful like a fairy story. But it was hard, scaring, and more particularly bloody. People died for this, many people civilians and militants. A friend’s brother has been killed, the son of one of my father’s friends has been killed, and many like them sacrificed their souls for us to live, for us to build a country, a free country where we are supposed to not shut down again.
I heard a lot of talking on TV. Everybody is talking; everybody is analyzing the situation of my country. Everybody is trying to tell us what to do. Still, we know exactly what to do; we did it. Nobody has told us what to do when gangsters were on streets, nobody has told us what to do when stores were closed or streets unclean. We don’t need political analyses or economic studies to tell us what to do, we need our own analyses and our own studies.
I have been and I will be always positive. Unexpectedly, or expectedly I am very positive for my country’s future. Before, everything in life for me has a single meaning: happiness. Now everything has another connotation a very patriotic connotation. I am patriotic, I was and I will be forever. Now I want to be better not for me and for my own happiness only but also for my country. I told my mother, proudly, that I have a lot to tell my kids about. My generation, what we did and what have been done to us. But what shocks me most about this generation is the amount of consciousness they have. I have seen people protesting and asking for the whole system in Tunisia to change from presidential to parliamentary. Very simple people were asking for this, very simple people that you will easily assume they do not have any political background but they were interestingly positive, aware and above all Tunisians.
I am very hopeful for my country. What is happening now I have not even dreamt of. Now I think I will start to dream again. I will imagine my country colored and happy. I will come back to my painting materials that I have left times ago to draw the little house again, the little sun and little clouds, the little flowers, trees, birds and the big Tunisia for me and for my children a better Tunisia, the best that Tunisia could be, I will do me with all Tunisians on the planet.
I like the way I am and I am deeply enjoying my life the way it is. Still, I do have dreams and secret wishes, I want ... To have different or more things in my life, to become more ...What I like about future is that it is a blank page and you can write whatever you want. The future is vast, limitless and full of possibilities. That is why; I haven't written my 2011 resolutions yet (I will do tomorrow). I need all the possible time to write it and I won't give away a single dayJ
2010 was a very beautiful and happy year in my life. Millions of things happened for the first time. Some of them used to seem wishes maybe impossible to the point that if someone had told me five years ago that those things could happen I wouldn't believe him I would instead call him crazy and unrealistic. But here I am I had them I enjoyed them; sometimes I did not know exactly how to behave toward them or even what to do with them but the most important thing that I had them. But the word that can describe my 2010 is Balance. During 2010 I have found my balance which is the true essence of life.
Personal Growth:
2010 was a very interesting year when it comes to my personal growth. My personality has changed remarkably. I used to be very shy, timid and I wouldn't never ever argue with someone or express how wrong or bad they make me feel. I used to believe that such behavior is wrong and it hurts; it will hurt people around me. But in reality I was the one who is suffering. When I started to open up and communicate how I feel I was able to avoid at least 90% of that suffer simply because I interpreted facts according to my own view. The absence of communication caused me to think and create a situation where I was hurt while the other person meant nothing. All of it was happening in my head.
2010 is the year when I finally found my balance. I used to prioritize things in a very rigid way. I used to be rough and severe with myself if I don't do something right or lose my time. In 2010 I figured out there is nothing called wasted time that the time spent doing nothing or the time spent committing mistakes was as valuable as the time spent doing the right things as what I call effective time.
Blogging
Blogging for me is a lot of fun. Writing is a wonderful state of being. I write so I exist, no need to refer to Decartes simply because I bypassed the state of doubting since a long timeJ I started my first blog in 2007. My first blog was inaccessible when it became full. I love that blog but I have to admit that I love my current blog much more. On May 2010, I created a blog that really reflects the real me, a space where I can say and share everything about me without thinking twice.
People
2010 was a very challenging year when it comes to my relationships. It is true that I have met a lot of people. Many amazing people have come across my path and many of them were very helpful and a source of joy. However, many of them have tried to intervene in my life and decide instead of me what it is important or what choices I should take. Appreciation, I guess, is the best attitude toward such behaviors, keeping in mind that people are seeing only their own choices on me.
2011
2011 is already a very special year for me. Though a lot of activities are already decided since 2010, it is still a blank page where I will create a very beautiful happy life.
Still, I will keep in mind:
*Life is not about effectiveness or productivity, it is about balance.
*Time is not about doing more or less, it is about enjoying what you do.
*People are not independent; they are reflections of who I am.
*Happiness cannot take place yesterday or tomorrow, happiness won't take place when everything becomes perfect, happiness in now or never.
*Abundance is not far or impossible but abundance is not always the answer.
*Loving yourself is the most beautiful thing on earth and it is the only way to your inner and outer world.
Whatever my resolutions in 2011 could be, the most important thing is that I will keep joy, love, happiness, balance and fun my life's key words.
