You Versus Others...No Choice is Up to Them; To Be Happy Stop Asking Them and Start Asking You!

"The great majority of us are required to live a life of constant duplicity. Your health is bound to be affected if, day after day, you say the opposite of what you feel, if you grovel before what you dislike, and rejoice at what brings you nothing but misfortune". ~Boris Pasternak

Others are everything in ourlives. Like it or not; we put the most fashionable clothes on to see that acceptance and astonishment in their eyes. We try to become famous and make differences; why not to write a book or release a song or make some millions. A huge motivation behind anything different we do: to be noticed.

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My twenties

I am not sure what is the special thing about being on your twenties that urges everybody older or younger to tell you : oh you are on your twenties now enjoy to the max! but how am I supposed to enjoy?

Every time someone says so I wish I can keep being on my twenties forever, I couldn't figure out any other way to enjoy my twenties rather than keep them. Whatever I do, the time will come when I am not twenty any longer. What makes this number so special?

Why when people grow up and reach there 4os or 50s, they always remember their twenties with pain and regret. If twenties are that special why remembering them is not. I cannot see any special thing when it comes to numbers. Twenties are like 30s 40s, and 50s, just numbers.

No matter what I do some day I will be fifty or maybe 100 who knows? I won't keep being 23 forever and at the same time how could I enjoy my 23. Simply, also no matter what I do I won't feel I am doing all things I can. I guess what makes twenties so special is that you are not supposed to do things right, you have chance to commit mistakes, to TRY. I guess that is the most important thing, you have the chance to try.

On 55 you cannot try anymore, you are supposed to be protected by experience now you have to do the right thing! Ironic! When they grow up, people start to accept and stop trying. That is why ,they usually think of their twenties desperately. That was the only space of time possible to try. But who said so, anyone could try. Even if I have 158 I won't stop trying and do mistakes. What is the worst thing that could happen?

To try is simply to live. I once read a very interesting sentence 'life does not come with a manual'. So there are no specific things supposed to work or things supposed to do not. Life is choices and attempts. That way twenties wouldn't be special anymore. You can try regardless of your age. And it is never to late to try.

"She is nothing but a beautiful smile, a smile I thought I could not lose"

"She is nothing but a beautiful smile, a smile I thought I could not lose".

Wait for a moment when you cannot be nothing but yourself and tell me what you really feel about you. It is a rare moment not to mention it won't happen ever. A moment to put them out of you to not be anymore a reflection of what they are.Oh no you are dreaming! It is easy to tell what they think of you which ones love you and which ones don't. It is easy to tell how much people you have hurt and how much people you have really loved. But could you tell me when you have hurt you and when you haven't.

Choose your clothes, put that magic smile on your face and go out face them talk to them, look for them wait for appreciations, gratitude and love. Wait for a similar mind or a similar soul. You know what? You won't find anything of that, you are looking for them in the wrong places and things.

They judge you; they hate you, they hurt you, and suddenly you start to complain and tell me how much they did change you. Did they do? Or in somehow you let them do? Tell me when would you be just you? Could you take off your clothes? Could you stop thinking or prtending? Could you close your eyes for moments? Could you think of YOU, just YOU?

You know exactly how to get them, impress them and make them just think of you. Could you impress yourself? Could you love yourself? Do you love yourself?

Who are you? Just tell me What do you think of you?

I know, it is not easy to answer.

"She is nothing but a beautiful smile, a smile I thought I could not lose.

Coulrophobia

With his funny colored face, he could bring things together; divide them. No special reasons to suffer deeply inside and put a large smile on your face! Isn't so true that all if us do the same? We hide. Hide everything you know, everything you do, everything you love and everything you have lost. Hide how we feel and why we feel and we are not brave enough to face clowns so we develop coulrophobia.

Unspoken words tell the endless story of sadness and sufferance. Giving up yourself to make others happy; you put back to that Ocean inside any word that might hurt.

You bring to your fingers all colors that a human could recognize. You paint your face and cover who you are. Colors for fun and enjoyment. And then with white paint you draw the biggest smile on earth. One that your lips could not create. Your final touch remains the famous red noise as you tell the world :" No offense, but it is better not to smell you!"

Colors, colors, colors but you couldn't hide your tears and heart; your suffering soul that dances along.

Aren't we all clowns?

To live or to quit

I have been dealing with a life or death issue. Me, My life and how to reach that apple with a stick : happiness were facing a “pseudo-dead me”. I am the happiest person that I have ever met. I can find a way, a reason leading to enjoyment and sometimes nonsense happiness. People could be experts on engineering, medicine, art, computers anything but I have been a happiness expert. All my life I was asking reading or most concerned with nothing more than HAPINESS. But the happy expert is having a happiness crisis. when the core of anything dies, it dies. That is why, when the heart stops to beat we die. Still my heart did not stop to beat it stopped to live. I admit it with tears on my eyes; I have stopped living! Surely, it was not a choice of mine but I was not able to eat, think, read, talk from my heart it was like acting. And I am a good actress, nobody figured out. I am good at pretending happiness; I always have believed that my problems have to continue being mine no need to share! And I kept that way for a month maybe accepting and testing my patience till the situation changes. I smile, feel glad and sometimes happy but I cannot really enjoy things. The core was out of service. I guess I was tough enough to continue being so. I did say no word about it to anyone but today. It was an endless suffer but somehow purifying or maybe this was my way to find a positive reason for anything happening to me. It might be the world energy or the devices in my room; it might be me changing my yoga ritual or getting stuck too much to exercise, good things, to do lists, TV letting go; acceptance; giving up; maybe my belief that I need time and I am not supposed to choose now and always postponing my decision to live. I was claiming the right choice is not available yet. But Arwa glad to tell you there is no right choice going to come there is no right person and no right situations there is only YOU and no one else but you can and cannot. It is up to you to live or to quit.

ما يكفي من التوازن

ما يكفي من التوازن حتى أنزلق
عن الخيط الأسود الذي يربطنا
ما يكفي من التوازن حتى أبتعد
دون أن أقع
حتى أقتلع عينيّ في صمت متلعثم

http://alwanarabiya.com/?p=18677

الأخطبوط بول : لا سلام في الشرق الأوسط

يستطيع الهواء المعبأ في المستديرة الساحرة أن يحبس الأنفاس ويوقف القلوب. فكرة القدم ليست لعبة عادية، إنما ملايين الدولارات التي توجه يمنة ويسرة، تارة لزرع الفتن وطورا لتمرير الإيديولوجيات المستحدثة، لكنها هذه المرة تتحفنا بأحدث صيحات التنجيم مع أخطبوط يتوقع نتائج المباريات ويمنح الكأس إلى اسبانيا قبل صافرة البداية. لقد قرر بول أخيرا أن يستثمر توقعاته في السياسية الدولية بعد نجاحاته الباهرة في مباريات كأس العالم. وقد توصل بعد تفكير طويل إلى أنه لا مجال لإرساء السلام العادل في الشرق الأوسط وجزم بأن أحلام السلام ولت ولن تعود.

http://alwanarabiya.com/?p=18489