An Unforgettable Road

There is a road in front of our house that I used to watch when I was young. Usually, it is quite dark and in the end of it there is light. I remember during high school, whenever I felt down, I just looked at it through the window and wonder "maybe there is a way out of this". I used to be thoughtful and inquisitive. I can turn a tiny thing into a philosophical issue and find myself dealing with an endless struggle. And that road was my only hope. It was like telling "tomorrow will be better and just don’t worry everything is ok".

I guess my road was right. ‘Tomorrow’ was much better. I figured out a way to become my best friend and that changed how I perceive life. Now, I don’t watch that road frequently. I have created a road that connect me with my inner world. I am not afraid anymore of judgment, success or failure. I can handle being a human being. I am more open and more interested in life. I don’t feel any more like I am witnessing it happening. I am in now. I live literally. I don’t watch the road because I am walking onto it. And walking the road of life is different from watching it.

My Daily Happiness Commitment: An Inspirational Morning

I like to read about happiness. It makes me happyJ If my Google account has ever been checked by the CIA, agents would have found that I Google happiness, self-development more than I Google Facebook. Accordingly, I come across an interesting title: “The Happiness project : Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun”, published in 2010. Gretchen Craft Rubin, the writer, assigned a goal for every month such us adopting a healthier life style. The project aims at helping her find happiness. I have a similar one. My project started last year but it is not about monthly goals. I wanted to make every single day of my life a successful day. And successful does not mean productive or effective to me. It means happy. A happy day is about finishing things that I know will make my life better and also to try new things and treat myself like a Princess. Shortly, I try to make my life better every day.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." –Aristotle

I am convinced that the only way to live the life I want, is by creating a daily project. Reading, working out, writing … are habits that I am trying to bring into my life. It is easy to do something for one time, but it is hard to make it a habit. Habits are created when a change comes true.

What we chose to do on daily basis is what we chose to do on a lifetime. The only difference is that a lifetime happens once and a day happens every day. That is why; I am working on my day as a separate project. A day is not enough to read all the books that I want to read. That is true. But a day is not supposed to be enough to live a lifetime, a day is perfectly enough to live a single day.

I don’t count hours or minutes. I don’t write strict to-do-lists. Time is not wasted and never could be; we don’t own it to waste it, we don’t have it to give it up, we don’t possess it to spend it. Time is not ours; is a sort of space we live in. That is why; I shifted my focus into activities. I pick my daily activities according to three basic criteria: Fun, Self-development, and Career.

The most enjoyable and insightful part of a day is just when I wake up .That moment is the most special one, then come other moments. My new goal, sit last week, is to wake up early and have a morning spiritual ritual. I usually, practice yoga in the morning. Lately, I have been trying new exercises that mix yoga and stretching exercises and I find them very refreshing. After doing them I usually love to dance and hug life. However, the ritual I want to bring into my life is a little bit more ‘intense’. I know that ‘intense’ and ‘spirituality’ do not look like going together. But what I mean is a richer ritual which includes yoga, meditation, laughing, reading and breathing exercises. During the last week, I have been practicing waking up early. I know that a habit needs time. That is why; I call it ‘my daily happiness commitment’. Happiness has to start with a clear, enlightened mind!

حربي الخاسرة

أنت مجرّد حطام متناثر
من حولي
أنت غبار أبيض يلتصق بخطوط الشّمس
أنت لا شيء
تجلس وسط نقاط متتالية
يرسمها كاتب ساخر
٭٭٭

ألتقط ذرّات الهواء
بيدي هاتين
أطبق عليك
٭٭٭
بلا معنى
تبقى وسط زحام القدر
مرسوما على يدي
أنت فراغ
بين الماء والزيت
مجرّد هامش في دفتر الرّسم القديم
مجرّد نقطة حبر تلطخ تنورتي
٭٭٭
في مفترق الطّرق
أجدك علامة مرور منحنية
بسبب العاصفة
هذا المساء
هذا المساء
رقصت الرّيح كاسطوانة الجاز
اختبأت أنت تحت كومة من البابونج المغلي
تراقب
وسادتي
لن أختلط مواد كيميائية مجردة
لن أتعفّن من البرد
لن أجلس قطعة جبن صفراء مثقوبة
أنا مقبلة عليك
سأصب عليك مزيدا من البابونج المغلي
أنت تنطفئ
وأنا أسقط زهرة ياسمين واحدة
من الطابق الخامس

أروى الكعلي

My Dreamy Girl

I am a visualization expert. It is like I was born with it. I picture myself in all situations, doing contradictory things, taking a different role every time. I have seen myself a billionaire, a top model, a writer, a teacher, an actress, even a hotel owner...Just leave me for five minutes and I will travel the world inside my imagination. My funniest one is to picture myself in a home built of sweet and chocolate. Regardless of how much I eat, it remains the same (renewable home:) Additionally, I love colored balloons and I love flying holding a green one or a rose one. To fly is my eternal dream. I love butterflies because they can fly (and because they are cute, soft and colored. It is true they live for a limited period of time but making me smile is worth living).

Dreams are beautiful (my dreams especially). Einstein, my smartest scientist, says "imagination is more important than knowledge". A brilliant quote isn't?? Imagination is wonderland, where things are not really things. A space where physics has nothing to prove, logic finds nothing sensible, and impossible, gently, commits suicide. It is a self-created space.

I call myself a lucky girl because every time I cannot have or do something, I imagine it. I love that my eyes show me a beautiful world and I love when I close them that I can see a magic world; I can see the real me.

My future belongs to me

Oh, I like to listen to some people deciding my life. You know those who tell you what is wrong and right and how you get everything done. Every single day in my beautiful life, I am discovering that my mind still holds restrictive thoughts. Sometimes I win; sometimes they win but in all times I can handle any result. If my own mind tells me that I cannot and I won’t, how about others; especially, if many among them have never tried to question their thoughts.

We have two eyes to come up with different perspectives, observing any situation. People’s eyes are there to remind us that there are millions of ways to perceive any given situation. They are there to help us to shift our personal viewpoint and enlarge our limited perspective. They are there to tell us that things could be done and dreams could be achieved. Still, they are not there to decide our life style or our happiness.

I have a plan for my life. I know exactly what will be my career, and my life. I know the whens the wheres and the whats. However, we are advisors by nature. It is powerful and enjoyable to tell others what they should do. It is a win-win situation. We pretend to have the answer and generously are giving it to everyone. If it makes their life better we win if it makes their life worse we still win. It is not our life anyway.

I am continuously defending my life, and my freedom. For those concerned with designing my life, thank you but my future belongs to me.

مازال بإمكاني أن أصمت

مازال بإمكاني أن أصمت

أن أفرغ عالما منّي

على وهم أبيض

مازال بإمكاني أن أقرر

اللاقرار

البقية هنا

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I am an original human being and this is an official version of me

When I checked on her FB profile and blog and writings, it was obvious that she was copying me. I have noticed millions of times that she loves the books and writers I love or talk about, read the websites I, frequently, visit… Everything I say or do, she tries, automatically, to do it too. Definitely, I am not a perfect person and perfection has never been my goal. Still, I see myself a special person that keeps in mind a different perception of everything. A thing that, I usually call my craziness or crazy Arwa. Inevitably, her behavior made me feel uncomfortable. It was strange to see things I like or dislike adopted by someone else; it was like they are stolen from me or that another person is trying to live the life I possess.

Naturally, as humans we learn by imitation. Kids look so funny and intelligent when they sit beside their parents and do the exact things parents do. That is how we learn. Even learning a new language or a new exercise starts as an imitation. We have, merely; to copy our teacher’s pronunciation or trainer’s pushups. Then, practicing will do the rest. We are ‘mimic creatures’. We start by copying till we find our original path. However some people find it easier to copy and harder to decide what they want out of life.

“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wild

I find Oscar Wild’s expression “everyone else is taken” very funny and simple. Simple thoughts are, usually, the truest. Undoubtedly, everyone else is taken and the only one left is oneself. As such, her behavior and my permanent conviction (me being original) leave no other choice for me but to question my life and find out my real self.

‘I am’ are considered the most powerful words in English. Because they are a conscious decision of what you choose you are, you were and you will be. Simply, being myself, is not simple; it is simpler to copy. That is why, we learn by mimicry. Yet, all the things I am doing and have done are my personal choices. They are decided by me, at least consciously.

I love writing, I am not copying anyone. I know deep inside that this is my passion and my dream remains, whatever happens, to make a living writing. People think that this is impossible, people are who they are. I am original!

I love journalism. I chose journalism at a time when everyone around me told me it is a waste of time, a hard and worthless career. Until today, some people ask me _not genuinely sure_ did you find the journalism, you have dreamt of? Is this what you wanted? After studying journalism for 5 years, I admit this is me. I answer them saying “perfectly, no!” and I wait to see the smile of victory and glory. Oh they were right! However, I keep my smile for me. The real answer is: “Perfectly, no, it is better that I have ever dreamt of. It was the best decision in my life!” The last 5 years were the happiest in my life. And look at me now a master student and still happy J

I love to read books; they are magic. I stand speechless in front their wonder. My favorite writer is Paulo Coelho (the day I get a card signed from him, I was literally jumping). Sometimes, I wonder does he live inside my mind. How can he know exactly what I am thinking of? I have no answer. I just know he writes about me, he writes things that I want to write about, that I stand for, that I love. I find reading a fun way to grow. I also love to read for other writers and enjoy some blogs.

I love self-development. When I was 17, it was my first time to be introduced to this concept. No need to mention that it was a wakeup call. Nothing could describe self-development better than ‘everything is possible’.

Those are my biggest choices in life. Still, my craziness is connected to simple things. I have a way to do things. I paint, dance, smile, laugh, and even breathe my way. I did not invent writing, reading, self-development, journalism or anything else that I love (sure I invented opening my umbrella under sun, or jumping from a sit to another like kids, or screaming in forests or saying insane things to mom and dad, still even those things I did not technically invent). Though, I did not invent all of this, I invented my own way to do, live, experience them. I simply choose on a daily basis. My unique DNA and finger print are unique for a reason.

It is not; totally, wrong to imitate in order to learn from others. Yet, it is a waste of time to give up yourself and life to live someone else’s life and be another person.

I stopped checking on my friend to be sure if she is copying my last idea or not. I have different priorities now: celebrating my uniqueness and cultivating my OWN WAY of living.