Berlin .. a trip of salvation 2 ( I met Arwa)

When I wrote my first post about Berlin yesterday I was about to sleep and I've just figured out all the horrible grammar and spelling mistakes I've made. I am a little sensitive to writing mistakenly. I don't want to make  language mistakes. That feeling is becoming stressful especially after starting to teach because it is a huge responsibility, this is why I am not going to correct them I would only accept them this time so please forgive me

Well, today is my second day in DW, it has been so interesting so far, however it was not stunning as I expected not that bright shiny or surprising, yet a lot of people are friendly, there is this anchor who is very sweet and modest. The whole thing seemed doable I really can do this, it is not that big deal. About that feeling I have been dealing with lately everyday in my way to job it is totally different now. Well maybe TV is my thing,  those laughs and fun chats preparing an episode is worth trying. MAYBE!

Today, I was smiling again, Berlin is very beautiful at night, the lights, the old buildings and the beautiful sky were magical. I think I am falling in love with the city and I am falling in love with myself again.. This salvation trip is working and my heart is beating again, I met nice and interesting people  who helped and assisted me but today I met Arwa.. I met Arwa in Berlin!

Berlin.. a trip of Salvation 1

When I was informed about my trip to Berlin, I was overwhelmed, I did not think about how valuable the training is or how much the trip would be, I was thinking about the hours I need to teach and the schedule that I need to follow in order to be ready by March the second. And I was ready everything I prepared was useful, however that being overwhelmed and getting more stressed out by doing unstoppable stuff during 2 weeks in order to be able to travel, were alarming signs: this is not who I am! I don't think this way! I am positive! and I find always a way to enjoy my time! so what is happening to me?

Well, yeah, I feel upset, lazy and that my life and my job have no meaning, I have been trying to watch movies, read books, drink coffees and hang out with friends, nothing of that did work. And then here I am in Berlin, a beautiful city but I don't feel present I feel that my soul is absent, this is way I chose to fight this is not a simple work trip .. this is a fight a trip for salvation a trip that would get me back a trip that would save me and free my soul from stress, calculation and conditional life that I have gave up too few months ago. Things have to change, they are changing very slowly and I still feel that I brought up my prison with me but I know that every day would be a good opportunity to destroy a piece of that wall of stress and useless stuff that I have been surrounding myself with like they destroyed the Berlin wall!

By the 30 of March, my wall should be destroyed and my soul should be freed and the beauty of this city should be seen. That is a challenge, a challenge to keep!

My Gratitude Board

I was feeling down lately, my procrastination and lack of productivity turned me off, until I decided to write a GRATITUDE BOARD, it has done magic to me and the dedication to live, love, laugh hit my heart again as if I’ve never failed or felt disappointed, and here is my GRATITUDE LIST:

1-      Arwa(me J)

2-      19/06/1987 (my birthday)

3-      Family: Mom, Dad, SISs (love u all)

4-      Lovely job and nice co-workers

5-      Khaoula Sliti

6-      Teaching

7-      Home

8-      Hamida ElBour

9-      My bed

10-   Bassem Bergaoui

11-   My pink wall in my room

12-   My room

13-   My hello-kitty watch

14-   Paulo Coelho

15-   Soumaya kharoubi

16-   The Alchimist

17-   My dad’s car

18-   Ahmed Magdy

19-   My English skills

20-   My Bourjois exclusive gloss

21-   Monia Arfaoui

22-   My toaster (I adore French toasts)

23-   My camera (captured so beautiful moments in my life)

24-   Taxis

25-   My shoes

26-   Panorama restaurant (like it or not)

27-   Fresh air

28-   Andrea Bocelli

29-   MBCs

30-   Halo  (Beyonce’s song, MY FAV and my mobile ringtone)

31-   Faith

32-   Health

33-   Chatting

34-   FB

35-   Trust

36-   My FB picture

37-   Courage

38-   Tunisia

39-   Indian movies

40-   Cheese cake

41-   My wallet

42-   My driving license

43-   French fries

44-   Hugs

45-   Lemon juice

46-   My bank account

47-   Coco channel

48-   Friendship

49-   Taking chances

50-   My TV (love you)

51-   The beach

52-   The sea

53-   Boats

54-   Falling in love

55-   Working out

56-   Cheese

57-   Skirts

58-   IPSI (my college)

59-   Ibrahim Elfeky

60-   Italian

61-   Coffés and restaurants

62-   Dan Brown

63-   Planes

64-   Attounissia TV

65-   My babyliss

66-   Water

67-   Egypt

68-   My books (adore books)

69-   The Quran

70-   Yoga

71-   Writing skills

72-   China

73-   Pens

74-   Silvia Palama

75-   Osho

76-   Airports

77-   Laughing

78-   Laura Pausini

79-   My e-mail

80-   Beyonce

81-   Glee (the series)

82-   My Max Factor pink polish

83-   Nessyen com (helped to forget a lot)

84-   Dalida

85-   The winner takes it all (love that song)

86-   Colors

87-   Snow

88-   Tina Su

89-   Remote controls

90-   Credit cards

91-   January 14^th 2011

92-   Tears

93-   My blog

94-   U.S.A

95-   Life coaching

96-   Friends all of them love you all <3 o:p="o:p">

97-   Lao tzu

98-   Tao Te Ching

99-   Money

100-    My desk

101-    My bags

102-    My phone

103-     Pilates

104-    My passport

105-     My body

106-    Dar Assabah

107-   Nescafé Gold

108-    Movies (the devil wears Prada)

109-    Fatales

110-    Sidi Bou Said

111-    Boby ( a lot of love)

112-   My netbook

113-    Jillian Micheals

114-    My salary

115-   Nasr 1

116-   Robin Sharma

117-    My students

118-    Mirrors

119-    YouTube

120-    Days

121-     Money

122-     Food

123-     My graduation & master’s degrees

124-     High school musical

125-     My dresses

126-     Pizza

127-     W.C.

128-     Air conditioner

129-    Ramadhan

130-     Bassem Youssef

131-     Eggs

132-     Time

133-     Sousse (where I was born)

134-     My gratitude board

135-      Inspirational quotes

136-       Love

137-       Flowers

138-      Molière

139-      Trainings

140-       Blankets

141-       Sun

142-      Hotels

143-      Bubble bath

144-      Dance

145-     My guitar

146-     Headphones

147-      India

148-    Dreams

149-     My hair

150-     My roof

151-     Craziness

152-     Imagination

153-      My eyes

154-     Einstein

155-     Click (the movie)

156-       The Metro

157-       Vision board

158-        Hope

159-       Hypnosis

160-        Powerpoint

161-        Gravity

162-        Google 

163-        Internet

164-         My PhD report (even if it was refused because I wrote in English)

165-          Stickers

166-         Religions

167-          Culture

168-          Stars

169-          Voting

170-          Plato

171-         Travelling

172-           Papers

173-          Numbers ( and the series)

174-         NCIS

175-          The Secret

176-          Robert Fisk

177-         Documentaries

178-         Fiction

179-          Relativity

180-          Men

181-          Choice

182-          People

183-           Heart

184-           Music

185-           Languages

186-          Brain

187-          Babies

188-          Rose

189-           Butterflies

190-           Massage

191-          Theater

192-           Carthage

193-           Freedom

194-           Photos

195-          Souvenirs

196-           Life

197-           My ID

198-          Thinking

199-           Walking

200-           Fun

Such a long list but still have a lot to be grateful for J

PS: no special order

An Open Letter to Someone who should know it themselves!

  

I don’t know why it still feels the same, even though you found someone else, even though I have never met you, I have never seen you.. You moved on that is for sure I moved on me too but they are years and it is not easy to omit those years from my life when you were literally my life.. I let you go times ago and I have my life. You know I did change totally.. I am finally that person I’ve dreamt of being and I painted my room, I work out three time a week, I teach, I finished my Italian class, I traveled, I fell in love, I had dates, I have good friends, and I am loving myself more than I did ever before.. But even though you hurt me, even though I hated you, even though you are far away and maybe for that sometimes I miss you.. I would love to have that friend again.. the one that I can tell everything and only today I figured out how a hurtful loss was losing you.. I miss the friend that doesn’t judge, doesn’t hurt, and doesn’t pretend that was honest even though I was skeptical.

I would love to tell you about SparkPeople, about my students about my dreams about my manicures the colors that I don’t have yet and the places where I have been lately . I would love to tell you that I am going to bowl this week, that I have a lot of secret lovers and that I can buy whatever I want, that I will visit that place that we have dreamt of together . I miss your links, recommendations, books and movies.. I was immature and I did not know how to deal with it, all what I wanted is to be friends all the time, but I know it is impossible and I know you have your choices now as I had once. I am not in love with you, you know that but I am in friendship with you. Love is blind, friendship is clairvoyant.. and I still miss that friend.. and that was my biggest loss!

Freedom of hurt!

I think everybody is free ! Free to think to do and to be maybe even free to hurt anyone they want..No I did not hurt anyone recently and I am not writing this in order to justify whatsoever I might did. It is totally the inverse.. I have been hurt badly recently and I somehow managed to survive but I am here to write that everyone has the right to hurt people.

I am someone that believes in the freedom of forgiveness and letting go.. but here I am not able to let go.. not able to forgive it doesn’t hurt at all now but I am still not able to remove or turn that page. I am still blaming that person and fascinated with her hypocrisy .He is a phenomenon and I am here to defend his right to hurt maybe it is my only way out.

What I feel is my responsibility it is not anyone else’s responsibility.. No one can decide for me I let him hurt and I maybe enjoyed the victim attitude.. What he did was huge after all it is not descent to play with people’s feelings but what I did was being a pride for envy and negative thoughts eating me up! But until when ?!

It is impossible that one day that person turns to be a friend again but all what I have to do now is acknowledging his right to hurt and my right to not feel hurt.. My mother said you don’t have to forgive him you don’t have to not forgive him just drop him out and don’t think about it! Wise solution worth trying.. J

Ethiopia.. a trip to remember (3)

Well, it is our second training day and everything was great.. Yolanda and I got to know each other better.. in the end of the day I was so tired and exhausted and I am setting now on my king bad in room 204.. The hotel is very comfortable and I still enjoy staying here.. one of the interesting things that happened today is that I become ‘officially’ a translator.. well not literally  but  I was translating the intervention of a Sudanese colleague whenever he talks! It was enjoyable somehow and I used my languages skills I actually got 2 comments today from 2 colleagues wondering how I manage to speak 4 languages (Arabic – French – English- Italian) they have no idea that I am planning to learn more languages J

In AU (African Union) there  are a lot of beautiful art work I am sahring some here :

PS : AU building was a gift from the republic of China I wonder what these chinese could do more in Afria !

Ethiopia.. a trip to remember (2)

 I was wondering how to start my blog post about today.. But what could be better than “Yod Abyssinia” a typical traditional Ethiopian restaurant where we had our dinner for tonight several minutes ago! What a beautiful restaurant, I was not brave enough to choose traditional food or bread while making my dish, at least not in the beginning of our week.. Yolanda (a journalist with us from Namibia with whom I become friends we spend the day together and we did all things together, I like her name and it means purple flower!) and I chose to keep it safe and to try traditional food the last day!

This is the purple flower:

Then we sit and we enjoyed some of Ethiopian songs and dances, our friend Milion ( from FES Ethiopia) said that every song and dance represents a different tribe or tradition in the country..don’t  you ever think that I did not comment on his name J I told him US dollar or Euro he said no I prefer pound J smart and funny guy!

The restaurant was very beautiful and there were cute kids dancing with the music I don’t know how I forgot my camera but Yolanda was kind enough and she will send me the pictures she took..Till then here is some pix from the internet:

Well there are a lot of things to talk about but I feel so tired to write.. the day in general was smooth and we learned a lot about Ethiopia this magic country!

There is something that caught our attention me and Yolanda: it seems that the whole city is under construction all the buildings are getting constructed strange!  And yeah everywhere there checking points even in restaurants J

PS Addis Ababa has its strange beauty..No comfort or modernity it is modest but somehow magic I like it J