Sunday, September 12, 2010

مازال بإمكاني أن أصمت

مازال بإمكاني أن أصمت

أن أفرغ عالما منّي

على وهم أبيض

مازال بإمكاني أن أقرر


البقية هنا

I am an original human being and this is an official version of me

When I checked on her FB profile and blog and writings, it was obvious that she was copying me. I have noticed millions of times that she loves the books and writers I love or talk about, read the websites I, frequently, visit… Everything I say or do, she tries, automatically, to do it too. Definitely, I am not a perfect person and perfection has never been my goal. Still, I see myself a special person that keeps in mind a different perception of everything. A thing that, I usually call my craziness or crazy Arwa. Inevitably, her behavior made me feel uncomfortable. It was strange to see things I like or dislike adopted by someone else; it was like they are stolen from me or that another person is trying to live the life I possess.

Naturally, as humans we learn by imitation. Kids look so funny and intelligent when they sit beside their parents and do the exact things parents do. That is how we learn. Even learning a new language or a new exercise starts as an imitation. We have, merely; to copy our teacher’s pronunciation or trainer’s pushups. Then, practicing will do the rest. We are ‘mimic creatures’. We start by copying till we find our original path. However some people find it easier to copy and harder to decide what they want out of life.

Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wild

I find Oscar Wild’s expression “everyone else is taken” very funny and simple. Simple thoughts are, usually, the truest. Undoubtedly, everyone else is taken and the only one left is oneself. As such, her behavior and my permanent conviction (me being original) leave no other choice for me but to question my life and find out my real self.

‘I am’ are considered the most powerful words in English. Because they are a conscious decision of what you choose you are, you were and you will be. Simply, being myself, is not simple; it is simpler to copy. That is why, we learn by mimicry. Yet, all the things I am doing and have done are my personal choices. They are decided by me, at least consciously.

I love writing, I am not copying anyone. I know deep inside that this is my passion and my dream remains, whatever happens, to make a living writing. People think that this is impossible, people are who they are. I am original!

I love journalism. I chose journalism at a time when everyone around me told me it is a waste of time, a hard and worthless career. Until today, some people ask me _not genuinely sure_ did you find the journalism, you have dreamt of? Is this what you wanted? After studying journalism for 5 years, I admit this is me. I answer them saying “perfectly, no!” and I wait to see the smile of victory and glory. Oh they were right! However, I keep my smile for me. The real answer is: “Perfectly, no, it is better that I have ever dreamt of. It was the best decision in my life!” The last 5 years were the happiest in my life. And look at me now a master student and still happy J

I love to read books; they are magic. I stand speechless in front their wonder. My favorite writer is Paulo Coelho (the day I get a card signed from him, I was literally jumping). Sometimes, I wonder does he live inside my mind. How can he know exactly what I am thinking of? I have no answer. I just know he writes about me, he writes things that I want to write about, that I stand for, that I love. I find reading a fun way to grow. I also love to read for other writers and enjoy some blogs.

I love self-development. When I was 17, it was my first time to be introduced to this concept. No need to mention that it was a wakeup call. Nothing could describe self-development better than ‘everything is possible’.

Those are my biggest choices in life. Still, my craziness is connected to simple things. I have a way to do things. I paint, dance, smile, laugh, and even breathe my way. I did not invent writing, reading, self-development, journalism or anything else that I love (sure I invented opening my umbrella under sun, or jumping from a sit to another like kids, or screaming in forests or saying insane things to mom and dad, still even those things I did not technically invent). Though, I did not invent all of this, I invented my own way to do, live, experience them. I simply choose on a daily basis. My unique DNA and finger print are unique for a reason.

It is not; totally, wrong to imitate in order to learn from others. Yet, it is a waste of time to give up yourself and life to live someone else’s life and be another person.

I stopped checking on my friend to be sure if she is copying my last idea or not. I have different priorities now: celebrating my uniqueness and cultivating my OWN WAY of living.