Sunday, March 10, 2013

Berlin .. a trip of salvation 3

My first week in Berlin is over, it was full of magic moments, joy and unique experiences. I fell in love with people, restaurants, malls, streets, snow and someone. All the experiences will be unforgettable and this conclusion I’ve come to remains always true: I am life and I am that kind of person that practices the art of living, and I like that.
Lying down on my bad, I remembered myself saying who would ask for “Someone like you” (Adel’s song) I adored this song: the rhythm, the lyrics and Adel’s voice are amazing but I discussed once this idea with a close friend  of mine and I said I would never ask for someone like him whoever he is. I will look always for someone better than him. Today, I listened to that song and I was wondering I really want someone like you, maybe because I know I will never have you.

Well, the idea of feeling this way itself is enough, newness is always  related to travel and here I am in Berlin falling in love with someone I am not even allowed to think about. The beauty of this city pumped from his eyes. But Berlin seems like me shy to show her real beauty,  to make people know how special she is out of fear. Fear that she would be taken as a bragger, fear of being taken as a liar. Well, people won’t believe that all of this can exist in someone.
During the week, I tried Turkish and Indian food for the first time, liked both of them and the salvation thing worked. I put off all that burden I have been carrying, I stopped worrying and I laughed from the bottom of my heart, I cried, smiled and learnt a lot. 3 weeks to go and they will be amazing.

It has been snowing since last night, and our garden is white now, I loved the snow and I am truly in love with Berlin, I can spend a year here without getting back home.
I read a few pages today of the books that I brought, I was lying down on a very comfortable chair, watching the snow falling and drinking some water while I stop once in  a while to think or to dream. Most of my thoughts were about him and most of my dreams were about Berlin.
There are a lot of things to plan, to do and to worry about but I will let things follow according to their rhythm I will accept and I will love!

Here is the view from my window: BEAUTIFUL!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Berlin .. a trip of salvation 2 ( I met Arwa)

When I wrote my first post about Berlin yesterday I was about to sleep and I've just figured out all the horrible grammar and spelling mistakes I've made. I am a little sensitive to writing mistakenly. I don't want to make  language mistakes. That feeling is becoming stressful especially after starting to teach because it is a huge responsibility, this is why I am not going to correct them I would only accept them this time so please forgive me
Well, today is my second day in DW, it has been so interesting so far, however it was not stunning as I expected not that bright shiny or surprising, yet a lot of people are friendly, there is this anchor who is very sweet and modest. The whole thing seemed doable I really can do this, it is not that big deal. About that feeling I have been dealing with lately everyday in my way to job it is totally different now. Well maybe TV is my thing,  those laughs and fun chats preparing an episode is worth trying. MAYBE!

Today, I was smiling again, Berlin is very beautiful at night, the lights, the old buildings and the beautiful sky were magical. I think I am falling in love with the city and I am falling in love with myself again.. This salvation trip is working and my heart is beating again, I met nice and interesting people  who helped and assisted me but today I met Arwa.. I met Arwa in Berlin!

Monday, March 4, 2013

Berlin.. a trip of Salvation 1

When I was informed about my trip to Berlin, I was overwhelmed, I did not think about how valuable the training is or how much the trip would be, I was thinking about the hours I need to teach and the schedule that I need to follow in order to be ready by March the second. And I was ready everything I prepared was useful, however that being overwhelmed and getting more stressed out by doing unstoppable stuff during 2 weeks in order to be able to travel, were alarming signs: this is not who I am! I don't think this way! I am positive! and I find always a way to enjoy my time! so what is happening to me?
Well, yeah, I feel upset, lazy and that my life and my job have no meaning, I have been trying to watch movies, read books, drink coffees and hang out with friends, nothing of that did work. And then here I am in Berlin, a beautiful city but I don't feel present I feel that my soul is absent, this is way I chose to fight this is not a simple work trip .. this is a fight a trip for salvation a trip that would get me back a trip that would save me and free my soul from stress, calculation and conditional life that I have gave up too few months ago. Things have to change, they are changing very slowly and I still feel that I brought up my prison with me but I know that every day would be a good opportunity to destroy a piece of that wall of stress and useless stuff that I have been surrounding myself with like they destroyed the Berlin wall!
By the 30 of March, my wall should be destroyed and my soul should be freed and the beauty of this city should be seen. That is a challenge, a challenge to keep!