Give it a try!

"There is this guy who has always been poor, and one day he decides to pray to God that he could win the lotto. He prays and prays, but doesn't win. Every day, he prays to God that he could win the lotto, and it never happens.

One day, when he's very old and frustrated, he gets on his knees and says, "Look, God. This is the last time I'm going to pray. PLEASE let me win the lotto, or at least tell me why you aren't letting me win."

Suddenly, an angel appears before the man and says, "Look, sir, could you do God a favor and at least buy a lotto ticket?! "

And this is what I was doing for a while, buying Lotto Tickets, figuratively speaking. I made this commitment once when I noticed that opportunities were jumping on me and I did not make a good use of them. I started trying, asking and making sure that I give whatever it is a try. 

However, this time I have this big opportunity before me and I am afraid to apply because I am afraid I lose it. But isn't that stupid, I am going to lose if I don't apply, right?! yes I am! 

Therefore, I should apply and then see what happens, I will just do my best filling the application, if I got it that is fabulous, if I don't I will try again, there are always other opportunities and there are always next year's application. 

Heading to my internship organization today, and while I was in the bud, I was reading something about the Fun of Failure', Gretchen in her " Happiness project" made it really seem so FUN.  I have even thought about a movie that inspired me a lot " The School of Life": the movie has a very strong message, enjoy failure and disappointment because it is part of our lives and it is our life anyway we should enjoy it whatever happens! 

'Try trying' was my motto for a while, I was even teaching it to my students, especially those who thought they were not good enough, I kept saying challenge yourself so I think I should challenge myself too. 

The restrictions and limitations do only exist in our minds, we create them and we wonder from where they have come. 

All the negative thoughts are still in my mind, however I am going to do it anyway, especially that the note on my cookies when I was at a Vietnamese restaurant today said: " Being aware of your fears will improve your life"!

Almost 4 weeks in Seattle: What I truly loved and learnt...

                                  The perfect day for Space Needle

Did I get used to it? to all life here? to the buildings? to the organisation I am having my internship with? to the hotel where I left for almost 4 weeks now? to the receptionist? to the weather? the streets? to Seattle? Maybe I am and maybe I am not. What I know about myself is that I am someone who adjusts in minutes. I do accept any situation and I can take the best out of it. However, my first days in Seattle were kind of challenge.

After spending a month in Berlin, it was not easy for me to adjust, the United States was not the way I expected and the American movies do definitely tell a different story. was I disappointed? Maybe! But I felt sad I don't know why, I was doing exactly what I wanted to do, however I felt disconnected. the place, the people, the weather did not matter, it was about me. I remember taking the Bus once and repeating few affirmations : I am having fun! everything is Great! and you know what.. it WORKED!

Therefore, after I started paying attention to the beauty about Seattle, I can definitely write about it. When I say Seattle, I automatically think about the Space Needle, the Pike Place, Capital Hill, the Pacific Place, and Shopping. Ross is my favorite place, I bought tones of dresses and I cannot ever get enough, however no more space in my luggage and no more money in my pocket. Yet, I love to spend time on the Union Lake, just enjoying the peaceful view that calming feeling that shakes my being when I sit there. I like to walk in Seattle and contemplate the nature. I like book shopping, there are lot of books that I still have to buy but I certainly cannot. However I bought a lot of great books, one of them was The Happiness project  and as I think that Aleph was the perfect book for my trip in Berlin, The happiness Project was a perfect pick for Seattle, it helped change my mood and feel better about the experience in general. I am reading now the chapter about work. In my way to work today, while I was taking the bus I was reading the book, and Gretchen said "no writer actually loves  the writing part". O.K. so that was not just about me Thank God, every writer does. I have always believed that my true calling is to become a writer I love to write but I hate the writing part. Thank God nothing wrong about me :)

                              This is me protesting on  May Day :)

 The people here are very friendly, they invite us for launch and dinner, would like to know more about us and one of the things that I really enjoyed the most was the invitation to have launch with a family in Braibridge Island, I took the ferry and I spent a great time with a lovely family.
When it comes to my internship, I work with an organisation that supports refugee women, the office is full of different women from different countries and religions however they manage to communicate smoothly, you won't ever notice the differences. Here I learnt from them a lot, and I won't ever forget Tigist, she is a sweetheart and she helped and did a lot to me, so thank you Tigist.
Well, being here for almost 4 weeks now, made me feel that I live here, it is not a touristic trip where you see the best of the country and you leave, I actually left for a month here and I am left with few days to go before heading to D.C.

                                     
                                      Meet my husband in Seattle!

It was a wonderful experience and I would love to visit Seattle again. 

Berlin .. a trip of salvation 3

My first week in Berlin is over, it was full of magic moments, joy and unique experiences. I fell in love with people, restaurants, malls, streets, snow and someone. All the experiences will be unforgettable and this conclusion I’ve come to remains always true: I am life and I am that kind of person that practices the art of living, and I like that.

Lying down on my bad, I remembered myself saying who would ask for “Someone like you” (Adel’s song) I adored this song: the rhythm, the lyrics and Adel’s voice are amazing but I discussed once this idea with a close friend  of mine and I said I would never ask for someone like him whoever he is. I will look always for someone better than him. Today, I listened to that song and I was wondering I really want someone like you, maybe because I know I will never have you.

Well, the idea of feeling this way itself is enough, newness is always  related to travel and here I am in Berlin falling in love with someone I am not even allowed to think about. The beauty of this city pumped from his eyes. But Berlin seems like me shy to show her real beauty,  to make people know how special she is out of fear. Fear that she would be taken as a bragger, fear of being taken as a liar. Well, people won’t believe that all of this can exist in someone.

During the week, I tried Turkish and Indian food for the first time, liked both of them and the salvation thing worked. I put off all that burden I have been carrying, I stopped worrying and I laughed from the bottom of my heart, I cried, smiled and learnt a lot. 3 weeks to go and they will be amazing.

It has been snowing since last night, and our garden is white now, I loved the snow and I am truly in love with Berlin, I can spend a year here without getting back home.

I read a few pages today of the books that I brought, I was lying down on a very comfortable chair, watching the snow falling and drinking some water while I stop once in  a while to think or to dream. Most of my thoughts were about him and most of my dreams were about Berlin.

There are a lot of things to plan, to do and to worry about but I will let things follow according to their rhythm I will accept and I will love!

Here is the view from my window: BEAUTIFUL!

Berlin .. a trip of salvation 2 ( I met Arwa)

When I wrote my first post about Berlin yesterday I was about to sleep and I've just figured out all the horrible grammar and spelling mistakes I've made. I am a little sensitive to writing mistakenly. I don't want to make  language mistakes. That feeling is becoming stressful especially after starting to teach because it is a huge responsibility, this is why I am not going to correct them I would only accept them this time so please forgive me

Well, today is my second day in DW, it has been so interesting so far, however it was not stunning as I expected not that bright shiny or surprising, yet a lot of people are friendly, there is this anchor who is very sweet and modest. The whole thing seemed doable I really can do this, it is not that big deal. About that feeling I have been dealing with lately everyday in my way to job it is totally different now. Well maybe TV is my thing,  those laughs and fun chats preparing an episode is worth trying. MAYBE!

Today, I was smiling again, Berlin is very beautiful at night, the lights, the old buildings and the beautiful sky were magical. I think I am falling in love with the city and I am falling in love with myself again.. This salvation trip is working and my heart is beating again, I met nice and interesting people  who helped and assisted me but today I met Arwa.. I met Arwa in Berlin!

Berlin.. a trip of Salvation 1

When I was informed about my trip to Berlin, I was overwhelmed, I did not think about how valuable the training is or how much the trip would be, I was thinking about the hours I need to teach and the schedule that I need to follow in order to be ready by March the second. And I was ready everything I prepared was useful, however that being overwhelmed and getting more stressed out by doing unstoppable stuff during 2 weeks in order to be able to travel, were alarming signs: this is not who I am! I don't think this way! I am positive! and I find always a way to enjoy my time! so what is happening to me?

Well, yeah, I feel upset, lazy and that my life and my job have no meaning, I have been trying to watch movies, read books, drink coffees and hang out with friends, nothing of that did work. And then here I am in Berlin, a beautiful city but I don't feel present I feel that my soul is absent, this is way I chose to fight this is not a simple work trip .. this is a fight a trip for salvation a trip that would get me back a trip that would save me and free my soul from stress, calculation and conditional life that I have gave up too few months ago. Things have to change, they are changing very slowly and I still feel that I brought up my prison with me but I know that every day would be a good opportunity to destroy a piece of that wall of stress and useless stuff that I have been surrounding myself with like they destroyed the Berlin wall!

By the 30 of March, my wall should be destroyed and my soul should be freed and the beauty of this city should be seen. That is a challenge, a challenge to keep!

My Gratitude Board

I was feeling down lately, my procrastination and lack of productivity turned me off, until I decided to write a GRATITUDE BOARD, it has done magic to me and the dedication to live, love, laugh hit my heart again as if I’ve never failed or felt disappointed, and here is my GRATITUDE LIST:

1-      Arwa(me J)

2-      19/06/1987 (my birthday)

3-      Family: Mom, Dad, SISs (love u all)

4-      Lovely job and nice co-workers

5-      Khaoula Sliti

6-      Teaching

7-      Home

8-      Hamida ElBour

9-      My bed

10-   Bassem Bergaoui

11-   My pink wall in my room

12-   My room

13-   My hello-kitty watch

14-   Paulo Coelho

15-   Soumaya kharoubi

16-   The Alchimist

17-   My dad’s car

18-   Ahmed Magdy

19-   My English skills

20-   My Bourjois exclusive gloss

21-   Monia Arfaoui

22-   My toaster (I adore French toasts)

23-   My camera (captured so beautiful moments in my life)

24-   Taxis

25-   My shoes

26-   Panorama restaurant (like it or not)

27-   Fresh air

28-   Andrea Bocelli

29-   MBCs

30-   Halo  (Beyonce’s song, MY FAV and my mobile ringtone)

31-   Faith

32-   Health

33-   Chatting

34-   FB

35-   Trust

36-   My FB picture

37-   Courage

38-   Tunisia

39-   Indian movies

40-   Cheese cake

41-   My wallet

42-   My driving license

43-   French fries

44-   Hugs

45-   Lemon juice

46-   My bank account

47-   Coco channel

48-   Friendship

49-   Taking chances

50-   My TV (love you)

51-   The beach

52-   The sea

53-   Boats

54-   Falling in love

55-   Working out

56-   Cheese

57-   Skirts

58-   IPSI (my college)

59-   Ibrahim Elfeky

60-   Italian

61-   Coffés and restaurants

62-   Dan Brown

63-   Planes

64-   Attounissia TV

65-   My babyliss

66-   Water

67-   Egypt

68-   My books (adore books)

69-   The Quran

70-   Yoga

71-   Writing skills

72-   China

73-   Pens

74-   Silvia Palama

75-   Osho

76-   Airports

77-   Laughing

78-   Laura Pausini

79-   My e-mail

80-   Beyonce

81-   Glee (the series)

82-   My Max Factor pink polish

83-   Nessyen com (helped to forget a lot)

84-   Dalida

85-   The winner takes it all (love that song)

86-   Colors

87-   Snow

88-   Tina Su

89-   Remote controls

90-   Credit cards

91-   January 14^th 2011

92-   Tears

93-   My blog

94-   U.S.A

95-   Life coaching

96-   Friends all of them love you all <3 o:p="o:p">

97-   Lao tzu

98-   Tao Te Ching

99-   Money

100-    My desk

101-    My bags

102-    My phone

103-     Pilates

104-    My passport

105-     My body

106-    Dar Assabah

107-   Nescafé Gold

108-    Movies (the devil wears Prada)

109-    Fatales

110-    Sidi Bou Said

111-    Boby ( a lot of love)

112-   My netbook

113-    Jillian Micheals

114-    My salary

115-   Nasr 1

116-   Robin Sharma

117-    My students

118-    Mirrors

119-    YouTube

120-    Days

121-     Money

122-     Food

123-     My graduation & master’s degrees

124-     High school musical

125-     My dresses

126-     Pizza

127-     W.C.

128-     Air conditioner

129-    Ramadhan

130-     Bassem Youssef

131-     Eggs

132-     Time

133-     Sousse (where I was born)

134-     My gratitude board

135-      Inspirational quotes

136-       Love

137-       Flowers

138-      Molière

139-      Trainings

140-       Blankets

141-       Sun

142-      Hotels

143-      Bubble bath

144-      Dance

145-     My guitar

146-     Headphones

147-      India

148-    Dreams

149-     My hair

150-     My roof

151-     Craziness

152-     Imagination

153-      My eyes

154-     Einstein

155-     Click (the movie)

156-       The Metro

157-       Vision board

158-        Hope

159-       Hypnosis

160-        Powerpoint

161-        Gravity

162-        Google 

163-        Internet

164-         My PhD report (even if it was refused because I wrote in English)

165-          Stickers

166-         Religions

167-          Culture

168-          Stars

169-          Voting

170-          Plato

171-         Travelling

172-           Papers

173-          Numbers ( and the series)

174-         NCIS

175-          The Secret

176-          Robert Fisk

177-         Documentaries

178-         Fiction

179-          Relativity

180-          Men

181-          Choice

182-          People

183-           Heart

184-           Music

185-           Languages

186-          Brain

187-          Babies

188-          Rose

189-           Butterflies

190-           Massage

191-          Theater

192-           Carthage

193-           Freedom

194-           Photos

195-          Souvenirs

196-           Life

197-           My ID

198-          Thinking

199-           Walking

200-           Fun

Such a long list but still have a lot to be grateful for J

PS: no special order

An Open Letter to Someone who should know it themselves!

  

I don’t know why it still feels the same, even though you found someone else, even though I have never met you, I have never seen you.. You moved on that is for sure I moved on me too but they are years and it is not easy to omit those years from my life when you were literally my life.. I let you go times ago and I have my life. You know I did change totally.. I am finally that person I’ve dreamt of being and I painted my room, I work out three time a week, I teach, I finished my Italian class, I traveled, I fell in love, I had dates, I have good friends, and I am loving myself more than I did ever before.. But even though you hurt me, even though I hated you, even though you are far away and maybe for that sometimes I miss you.. I would love to have that friend again.. the one that I can tell everything and only today I figured out how a hurtful loss was losing you.. I miss the friend that doesn’t judge, doesn’t hurt, and doesn’t pretend that was honest even though I was skeptical.

I would love to tell you about SparkPeople, about my students about my dreams about my manicures the colors that I don’t have yet and the places where I have been lately . I would love to tell you that I am going to bowl this week, that I have a lot of secret lovers and that I can buy whatever I want, that I will visit that place that we have dreamt of together . I miss your links, recommendations, books and movies.. I was immature and I did not know how to deal with it, all what I wanted is to be friends all the time, but I know it is impossible and I know you have your choices now as I had once. I am not in love with you, you know that but I am in friendship with you. Love is blind, friendship is clairvoyant.. and I still miss that friend.. and that was my biggest loss!