Sunday, June 27, 2010

My Girl On Her Roof

I was working on my pc and listening to Celine "d'amour et d'amitié", nice song. I don't know why when I listen to any song and then get caught in the middle of silence, I cannot handle it. Therefore, I keep listening to more songs so I don't face silence anymore. I do meditate and I listen to silence. Yet, after non-silence I feel I need more of it. But, this time I did not play another song, it was my dinner time. I walked to the kitchen, prepared some “delicious creation” of mine and then went upstairs to eat it. But I changed direction. I went to our roof.

It has been so much time, since the last I’ve been there. Even though I used to spend hours there thinking, dreaming and contemplating the inner and the outer me, I suddenly, stopped to do. The 90% of things we do unconsciously did choose to leave no place to the roof.

This time, the breeze was amazing, it was like hugging me. I was eating when I noticed that the building changed no more space is left. Everyone is building more and more; a home of concrete. The sky and the sun are the same. The birds are singing, as if life is a party. I can remember when I used to watch the clouds and the sky and imagine funny creatures. The breeze did not leave my hear alone. It kept playing with it. And my rose dress with blue and white snow was dancing with the breeze too. I have felt that I, magically, cleared my mind and my heart. I noticed that another thing did not change there, the little girl inside me. It seems happy to see me back. "A lot of knowledge and books", the roof wonders." You are always the same", he says.

It has been like no years have passed no time and no change. The sky, the sun, the birds and the little girl are the same.

PS: the planes too are the same...When I was kid I always felt that my prince is in one of these planes:)

My Lego Experience

You know that coloured plastic items that could be stuck to each other? Well, maybe you remember that you have played with it when you were young. How much castles, houses..did you build and destroy? Maybe thousands.

Every one for me was a thought a dream and an innocent smile. Unexpectedly, recently, I have bought Lego and I have started to build my old castles again. I still have emotions about them till now even while writing about it, even though I did buy them a week ago. More precisely, it was on my 23rd birthday. No! I am not that old for Lego! Well, I guess all my friends, when they know, will think I am childish. Yet, I have forgotten the last time when I have really cared of what people could think. I just try to realize every idea held on that thing between my ears no matter childish or crazy could be.

However, my Lego experience has overcome the fact of satisfying a non-understandable desire, but it is now more like enjoyment maybe art. The tension, thoughts and feelings I have and associate with building or creating my buildings, have another meaning. Sure, I won't be able to explain it but it is there and I guess having Lego for my birthday has been a clever choice :)

Still fall in love with its colours and possible shapes. At the same time, I still wonder how my Lego experience was when I was young. Sure, I would not spend all this time thinking, analysing and writing about it sure, I would rather spend that time building some dreamy castles!

Me, Ambracing Myself!

I was on my way to my friend's home holding her on my back. Sweet, cute, black Aurora moves my heart all the way. She has her own way to make me feel that joy and love even though we have just met. We don't know each other that much. I have not discovered all her magic yet. But the first sight and hug have it all. She was on my back like a butterfly or a very faithful bird, who is giving up his own freedom for the pleasure, he wants to be mine. She has that special Silhouette but she keeps her head up watching the sky all the time. A sunny -very hot- day, yet our love has turned it into heaven. I did not care for the weather or how much heavy she was. Every time my friend says I can care it for you, I say no she is my 'daughter' I have to keep her safe.

All the eyes watching her and me together; imaging what a beautiful relationship could we have, made me hold her more and more closely. And, above all, the guy on the library who said:" is it yours?" with a remarkable French accent. I answered with a rosy face: “yes”.

I was wondering how everybody is noticing that special connection between us. She is a 4-year dream coming true. And while my mind is keeping the same thought about it : “You have 23 and you are thinking to play guitar, music is for kids they can learn fast”, my mother and my heart tell me all the way your love is stronger you and her have that chemistry and Aurora will never ever let you down.

Well, that was the first step on our beautiful path. We will share love and acceptance.