Monday, June 13, 2011

Freedom Forgiveness

There are the rose, the orange, the blue, the green, the black, the white…t-shirts and I have to pick one. Every day, I open my wardrobe and wonder what one can be the most suitable for today? The one that feels comfortable, the one that feels attractive, or the one that feels right; and I usually pick the one that feels me. On the road, there are always trees and there are always faces and there is always me: the same me. The tape is on and all the things that happen suit it flow just as it flows, and time passes so fast, so slowly, so strangely. I was stuck in the middle of something, in the middle of illusion. I was playing the same role, pretending, claiming, but I am now sent free.

One day I picked the orange, I drove a little and I missed it up. I forgot to stop at the right time, I forgot to say the right words, I forgot to wear me just under the t-shirt. I forgot me on the book of last night on the song that says with you I will go. I forgot me stuck in the middle of illusion, I forgot me and I made me lost, I walked alone for some time. But I am back in order to catch me again, I am back to live me again, I am back to be free again.

I forgive myself for being so truthful, I forgive myself for doing the right thing, I forgive myself for being afraid and I forgive myself for being overwhelmed, I forgive myself for being not right not wrong. I forgive the world, the birds, the books, the friends, the light, and darkness. I am free!

One day I chose the green, I walked on the streets, took the metro, a guy was going to fall, I wanted to catch him, he smiled to me he felt it, he felt that I was able to help a stranger as if it were my child. My heart was singing, I write about that, I write about this. All the process of writing is boring, tiring, exhausting. I forgive writing. I love writing. I miss writing. I forgot myself in one the papers on my teen diary. I wrote so sincerely about life, about happiness, about me. I loved me. I forgive me. I am free.

One day I chose the blue, it was early, it was morning. The sun of my heart hates darkness and love is darkness, love is unknown, is scary. How could I fall in the darkness? how could I fall in the unknown? My heart is glad to fall. I forgive my heart and I am free. I fell.

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